And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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