All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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