so explain again why im purple
no
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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