I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
this hospital has no fireball
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
