Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
