I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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