Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
