spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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