Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
