dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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