...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How's work?
Spinning.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
