College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
