all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
