I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
