right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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