I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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