I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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