can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
