I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
