i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
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