Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Pooping to opera.
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