I don't think brook has ever known best
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Randomize