so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he thought i was a dude.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
