Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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