seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
