Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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