I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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