just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
