it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
