Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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