I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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