i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My bed smells like the plague
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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