I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
