She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
