What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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