I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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