STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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