I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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