She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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