The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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