Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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