We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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