I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize