i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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