just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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