saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
