I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
