We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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