Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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