booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
