just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
