Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
