dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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