I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize