Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
