shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
