your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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