He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
