She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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