youre lurking in front of me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
