omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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