how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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