I CAN MOONWALK!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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