hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
