He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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