So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
