im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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