The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
