I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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