She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
